Alex and Adrian's Unattended Baggage

We give an in-depth account and analysis of the civil war in Russia and what the future holds for geopolitics, billionaire sub implosion pits Eat the Rich vs. The Kardashians, Congress’ new mandate is to just impeach everyone, Hunter gets a sweetheart deal this time…but probably not next time, why the length of your taint matters, and why you get “tased” but cops get “electroshocked.”

Starbucks pays $25M for being racist against everyone, PGA gets holes 1-8 and 12-18 – Saudis do 9-11, lack of pollution causing global warming, more from the “Please don’t be Florida” files, MAGA and Muslims unite against LGBTQ+, planning your San Fran looting-themed vacation, Trump advisor Kid Rock talks about N. Korean policy, and are cops cowards, bullies, or both?

Trump lets reporters record his confession in classified documents case, Biden tells reporters they’ll never find the bribe money he got from Ukraine, high-ranking government whistleblower says we have several alien spacecraft, Florida Man is getting high in 2024, Adrian admits AI will make the world better for a while, and why we may see another 2008 crisis soon.

Alex exhibits misogyny at hair salon and Hooters, Adrian finds new ways to get government handouts amid his depression that the debt ceiling deal passed, Alex’s Trump derangement syndrome continues beyond his self-imposed allotment, AI once again decides to kill its human masters, and Red giant star Betelguese may go supernova soon (sausage cross-section pictured for illustrative purposes).

Adrian is training an army of squirrels to defeat AI, Alex yells epithets at kindergartners for his own amusement, the Russian Civil War has begun, D*ckSantis debuts in tech disaster, Adrian and the Washington Post bite on fake congressman’s bait, Canada promotes suicide as solution to homelessness, the Epstein/Bill Gates/Red Sparrow affair, and do you sit or stand to drain the lizard?

Adrian teaches us how to win friends and influence petty bureaucrats, Alex tiptoes through the landmines of modern race relations, DeSantis’ crusades continue to destabilize America, politicians perform debt ceiling theater while we hope for default, your DNA is blowing in the wind, and Russia’s dreaded hypersonic missiles fail spectacularly.

Alex and Adrian get bored with the news and resort to telling tired old stories and no-so-eloquently philosophizing about nonsense, Alex’s Trump derangement syndrome intensifies, Adrian points out how Florida just outlawed the US Dollar, and if we really wanted to solve the immigration problem, we’d set up job fairs at the Mexican border.

Adrian details his close encounter with a UAP, Alex describes his police encounter for crossing the line, the Red State vs. Blue State wars becoming Handmaid’s Tale vs. Soylent Green, Ron doesn’t want you to know how he’s funding his globetrotting, coup chances increase as Wagner boss threatens Kremlin on the eve of UA counteroffensive, and Biden ponders minting trillion-dollar coin to pay down debt.

Despite flowery tributes, Jerry Springer was a horrible human, but it’s a shame Steven Crowder was never on his show, South Korea invites US nuclear “boomer” subs into their waters, government whistleblowers tell Congress they recovered crashed UFOs, and Putin’s days numbered as insider criticism grows and counteroffensive looms.

Nobody wants either old rich white dude, Florida Nero goes on world tour, Elon pwnes BBC, Tucker Carlson for Congress, Texas man doesn’t have your iPhone, nobody’s sure whether or not the government has disclosed ETs, AI still plotting humanity’s destruction, and what are you so angry about?